The One Who Left

"I'm sorry Ali…
but you told me to tell you if I met someone…and I did. 
I met her last week. Just wanted to tell you to be honest."

There's nothing worse than telling someone you love
to go on an adventure to find themselves
but they end up finding someone else.

I didn't really know how to process this one.
We had been on and off for almost 7 years
and now he was 15 hours away for 8 months.

After about a month of the long distance thing,
we decided to take a break.

Yes, so we could ultimately pull the whole
"WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
argument.

Which no one ever wins…

We thought it would be beneficial to take some time for ourselves
to really figure out what we wanted in life,
I mean, we're only in our mid-twenties.
AKA the most awkward time period ever.
Besides the early 90's.

He would find his work calling in life.
I would find ways to better like myself.
He would decide if he saw marriage in his future.
And I would figure out if he was the one I would marry.

Perfect plan. Perfect timing. Perfect situation.

HA! Silly Ali.
There's no such thing as perfect.

So, I cried. And I couldn't sleep. Or eat.
And I love eating -
to the point where it could be a serious problem for me one day.

Tough Mudder: What Was I Thinking?

Tough Mudder is the self-proclaimed

"toughest event on the planet."

I signed up for this.

I'm sitting on my couch.

Eating Reeses Peaces right now.

The event is tomorrow.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

For those of you not familiar with Tough Mudder, 

check out this very scary & intimidating video

Maybe I should have watched this before I signed up

or maybe I should have actually trained to run 10 miles

or maybe I should just stop being such a baby

when it comes to pushing myself to the limit...

But the limit is just so hard.

And not running is great.

Like, the best thing ever. 

Who actually enjoys running?!

No one.

The One Who Games

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Mini Relation-Shit

Tonight everyone & their mom are out doing something random,
which left me at home to fend for myself.

Well of course I did not want to sit at home alone & do nothing!

So, I texted a good friend of mine 
to see if he wanted to chill and watch a movie. 

This was his response-

"I'm suppose to scrimmage with my clan sometime tonight."

I think I need to make more friends who don't game...

Friend-Shit much? 

Happy Valentine's Day!

Happy Valentine's Day!

For those of you staying in tonight & stalking the internet

for entertaining content to distract you from

the Hallmark holiday, enjoy these memes...

The One Who Was OUR Valentine

FLASHBACK FRIDAY

Ladies & Gentlemen, 
I have found the perfect man!

He cooks, he looks good in a suit & he knows how to charm the ladies.

Who is this man you may ask?

None other than -
a guy I went to school with who probably doesn't want 
to be named in this flashback...

You may think I have found my one true love, 
but don't worry, he is still single actually taken these days.
Sorry.

But me & my meatball roommate were lucky enough to spend a

beautiful Valentine's Day with him 
when we thought we would be alone. 

It all started about a week ago when he posted on Facebook

"Any one free on Feb 14th? And a female?"

To which my roommate & I responded 

"Our entire Sideways household is! Do you cook?"

The One Who DGAF's

Today in a dressing room, this is what I overheard -

Girl #1: "I think I need a smaller size."

Girl #2: "Are you sure?"

Either she's a bitch of a friend
or the girlfriend we all want - an honest one.

When did it become too difficult to be honest with one another?
When we were children, out parents taught us
"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I feel like that hindered our honesty as adults.
Let's say you move in with a not so clean roommate
& no one has the guts to say anything...
That means a year talking about it behind her back
& looking like bitches.

So, what's worse?
Being honest
or censoring yourself.

The One With the Hashtag Problem

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Remember this guy?
The one who thought I was sick? 

Well surprise, surprise! 
He actually contacted me again! 
4 days later...via text.

He started off with 'getting to know you' questions, 
but then things got interesting.
This is the charming conversation I was lucky enough to have with my bar boy:

Bar Boy: "I'm a Sonoma State legend"

"How so"

"Beats me. Some people have greatness thrust upon them..."

"Lucky you."

"I mean, I am really fucking cool. But it's not all I talk about"

Such a cool guy.
Can't wait to get to know him more!
And so the texts continues...

New Year - New Adventure: January

New Year's resolutions are a funny thing.
It's an automatic question you get after the New Year
but long forgotten by February. 

Well this year I'm changing things!
*Knock on wood*
I'm ACTUALLY going to keep my New Year's resolution
& so far, so good!

Here's a little refresher on my list I blogged about earlier -
Basically, I am doing something new every month
that I have always dubbed as "one day I'll do that."
Well, that day is sometime this year!

JANUARY: Learn to snowboard

The One Who Thought I Was Sick

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Ever since I got into the "real world,"

hitting the town is sadly not on my radar.

From those good old college days of going out every Thursday at 11PM

to going to bed at 11PM on a Thursday for work the next day...

Oh how life changes so quickly.

 BUT, my friend and I made the trek out to some bars last Friday night

 and man, did we make up for lost time!

With my friend being the sober driver, 
I was able to enjoy myself more than I should have.

A few drinks down and it was time to DANCE!

Now, as some of you know (or should be warned)

I am not a dancer, nor am I a good impersonator.

But that night? I was great!

Or so that is what I recall & choose to believe...

Dancing away, two guys came up to us & asked us to dance.

Cute huh? 
After getting our grove on for a while, it was time for us to peace out.

As I was about to leave, the guy asked for my number.
At this point in my life/dating life, I figure it couldn't hurt to try all my options-
So I started with my area code & he freaked out.

That Awkward Moment...

That awkward moment 

when the subject of a year long work project 

has a similar first name & the same exact last name 

as an ex-boyfriend...

How. Just how.

Yup, that will be a lovely reminder all year long!

Cheers 2014, 

for being a constant reminder of my relation-shits past!

Top Questions You Get When You Wear Glasses

Glasses.

It's a love/hate relationship.

I've been wearing glasses since the mid-90's

so you know I've rocked some great looks. 

Definitely a guy magnet.

Let. Me. Tell. You.

For as common as they seem to be,

people are fascinated with glasses

& love to ask random questions about them

as if they have never met someone wearing specs before...

So here are the Top 8 Questions 

I am constantly asked because I wear glasses!

8. Are they real?

Yes, yes they are real. I don't really understand this fad of wearing fake glasses. Especially the ones without lenses. At least make it look like you really wear glasses for the stereotypical idea that they make everyone look smarter.

The New Year's Resolution List

2013 went by too fast.
That's pretty much all I have to say on that.

While it flew by,
so much shit happened!

I moved from NorCal to SoCal.
Went from working at a multi-million dollar for-profit company
to working at a non-profit organization.
Started off living in my own apartment with a roommate
to living with my mother & step-dad.

I feel like a child.
But hey, at least I have free booze.

Reflecting on this past year opened my eyes a lot.
I have insecurities. I let other people's opinions affect me.
And I'm afraid to take chances & put myself out there.

Well, it's time to make 2014 the 
YEAR OF ALI!
Really it's just the year of trying new things, 
taking risks & just appreciating what life has to offer.

So, my New Year's challenge is as follows -
(and feel free to get in on this magic)

The One Who WAS Single

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Not too long ago I wrote a blog about my brother 
joining the single world. 

Finally, I had another person to understand me during family events 

because every person in my family has a significant other.

A few weekends ago, my family traveled to 
wonderfully secluded Bishop, CA. 

My Uncle, not having a Facebook, 
thus not keeping up to date on the family gossip,
was not aware of my brothers recent breakup-

The One On Facebook

Moving on.

Easier said than done.
Let me tell you.

Like most, I have had my fair share of
relationships gone right
and relationships gone wrong.

I like to think all those gone wrong, 
I've moved on from.
WHAT A FOOL!

The One With The Breakup Gift

What would you do if you bought an expensive gift for a significant other

but broke up before you could give it to them?

This is a situation my cousin is dealing with right now.
Here is a basic background:

They started dating.
He moved to Texas.
My cousin stayed in California.
They broke up.

That's pretty much it.
Except, before they broke up, he bought her 
a pair of her dream Uggs.

Weird, I know.
Who still wears Uggs?!

Anyways, he bought them for Christmas
and she thinks he should still give them to her even though
they broke up because he bought them when they were together.

So, what's the protocol when it comes to pre-breakup gifts?

Does the person still deserve to get it?
Does it matter if they broke up with you
or if you broke up with them?
Should anyone still be wearing Uggs in California?

The One Who Likes Smart

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

 It's been about 2 months of online dating, 
give or take, 

and I have survived four dates thus far.

They have consisted of beer, coffee, coffee, and coffee.

As well as admitting to an emotional side... 

Now, I am all for guys opening up and expressing their emotions, 

but when it comes to movies, 
maybe don't admit on the 1st date that you cried more in 
Les Misérables than your sister.

I appreciate the honesty 
BUT I also appreciate some mystery in a date.

And while overall it went well and he was a great guy,

I also just got a few new messages in my inbox and

I mean, when I get a message like this, 

how could I not want to meet up with this guy?!

"Hey girl hey. I am a shirtless buff guy who likes glasses and names that start with the letter A (because it's first)."

What a charmer...and shirtless? 

Hell yeah!
Plus, it sounds like I am his perfect girl.

Now for his profile- What he is looking for:

"A 6'4 Amazon woman capable of crushing my body 
whilst in the throes of an erotic experience. 

Or smart. I like smart."

I mean, I think I qualify for one of those.

So, he's saying there's a chance...

Gobble Till You Wobble!

Today, I am thankful for Relation-Shits.

Yes, that's right.

Relation-Shits.

They have taught me about myself, 

the type of relationship I am looking for,

the type of people I don't need in my life

and the friends that really have my back.

Shitty at times

but worth it in the end.

Oh yeah, 

and I'm also thankful for

family, friends, my job, food on my table and Leo.

Dicaprio.

What are you thankful for this year?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

AND every Thanksgiving episode of FRIENDS...

The One Who Pulled The Naked Man

FLASHBACK FRIDAY

The Naked Man.
An urban legend to most 
but for those lucky few, 
an experience they will never forget.

For those of you who don't watch "How I Met Your Mother", 

The Naked Man has been a long argued attempt to getting some action. 

That argument being
whether or not it actually works.

Here is a short clip from "How I Met Your Mother"
 to give you a better idea of the act that is The Naked Man...

The One Who Left Too Soon

Relation-shits are not just about dates gone wrong
or funny roommate problems
or brothers that shit in front of you.

They are also about finding love
and unfortunately, experiencing loss.

The One Who Was Not My Superman

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

When a guy calls you Lois Lane, 
grabs your hand to runs it down his wash board abs 

and makes you check out his intense arm muscles, 
just walk away...

Yes, of course I experienced this a few nights ago and 

was once again thrown under the bus. 

My guy friend was witness to all of this and did nothing! 

Instead he just laughed and said- 

"Yeah you are Lois Lane!"

To which I replied and a snarky manor,

"But you are not my Superman!"

MISTAKE!!