Tough Mudder: What Was I Thinking?

Tough Mudder is the self-proclaimed

"toughest event on the planet."

I signed up for this.

I'm sitting on my couch.

Eating Reeses Peaces right now.

The event is tomorrow.

WHAT WAS I THINKING?!

For those of you not familiar with Tough Mudder, 

check out this very scary & intimidating video

Maybe I should have watched this before I signed up

or maybe I should have actually trained to run 10 miles

or maybe I should just stop being such a baby

when it comes to pushing myself to the limit...

But the limit is just so hard.

And not running is great.

Like, the best thing ever. 

Who actually enjoys running?!

No one.

The One Who Games

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Mini Relation-Shit

Tonight everyone & their mom are out doing something random,
which left me at home to fend for myself.

Well of course I did not want to sit at home alone & do nothing!

So, I texted a good friend of mine 
to see if he wanted to chill and watch a movie. 

This was his response-

"I'm suppose to scrimmage with my clan sometime tonight."

I think I need to make more friends who don't game...

Friend-Shit much? 

The One Who DGAF's

Today in a dressing room, this is what I overheard -

Girl #1: "I think I need a smaller size."

Girl #2: "Are you sure?"

Either she's a bitch of a friend
or the girlfriend we all want - an honest one.

When did it become too difficult to be honest with one another?
When we were children, out parents taught us
"If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all."

I feel like that hindered our honesty as adults.
Let's say you move in with a not so clean roommate
& no one has the guts to say anything...
That means a year talking about it behind her back
& looking like bitches.

So, what's worse?
Being honest
or censoring yourself.

The One Who Made Out With My Forehead

This may be a little late...BUTTTT
FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Yes, the title explains it all.

No, I did not see it coming.

Yes, alcohol was involved (on his part).

And no, that was not the only ridiculous thing he did that night.

Let me tell you a little about my friend- 

He is far from a ladies man but somehow he manages to get 

with a new girl at every party... 

Strange, I know. 
Boggles my mind.

Unfortunately for me, there were no single girls at 
my roommates 21st Birthday Bash. 

That left me as his target...

Ridiculous Moment #1:

Friend: "Ali, I'm going to talk to you about random things to

distract you from when I do this-" 

The One Who Could Not Stop Himself

There is something I have noticed about the dating game  

that reminds me a little too much of Chandler from Friends-

First, just watch this video to better understand what I'm talking about:

"Well this is great. I'll give you a call. We should do it again sometime."

"Are you going to call her?!"

"No!"

"I am weak and pathetic and I'm sorry!"

Here's the thing guys 

(and girls because lesbihonest, we do it too), 

if you don't plan on actually following through with what you're telling someone, 

DON'T SAY IT TO THEM!

You're just trying to be nice and we don't deserve that.

I have met a lot of guys who 

experience this thing called word vomit.

They don't think in the moment and they just say what they think you want to hear.

Here's the truth: 

I will not be hurt if you don't invite me to hang out with you,

but no one wants to be told you're interested in going on a date 

with them when you really have no intention of following through with it. 

Just be honest.

Don't lead anyone on and 

if you're not going to call them, don't tell them you will!

Thank you Friends for once again teaching us a valuable life lesson...

The One Who Ruined The First Date

FLASHBACK FRIDAY!

Ever been shit-faced on a first date?

No? 
Well that makes one of us...

Who does that?! 

I mean really, why would you show your drunk ass bitch side
in front of a potential second date? 

Well, unfortunately I'm not as smart as I look,

(it's the glasses, I know, they're deceiving) 

and I had a little too much "fun" on a date a friend set me up on.

So this is how the story goes- 
My friend and his wife had the great idea to set me up with their friend 

because my love life basically consisted of relation-shits.

Advice for a first date:
Don't go to a beer festival followed by three bars. 

Drinking too much on the first date may cause you to do things 
you regret the next day. 

Just saying.