"I'm sorry Ali…
but you told me to tell you if I met someone…and I did.
I met her last week. Just wanted to tell you to be honest."
There's nothing worse than telling someone you love
to go on an adventure to find themselves
but they end up finding someone else.
I didn't really know how to process this one.
We had been on and off for almost 7 years
and now he was 15 hours away for 8 months.
After about a month of the long distance thing,
we decided to take a break.
Yes, so we could ultimately pull the whole
"WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
argument.
Which no one ever wins…
We thought it would be beneficial to take some time for ourselves
to really figure out what we wanted in life,
I mean, we're only in our mid-twenties.
AKA the most awkward time period ever.
Besides the early 90's.
He would find his work calling in life.
I would find ways to better like myself.
He would decide if he saw marriage in his future.
And I would figure out if he was the one I would marry.
Perfect plan. Perfect timing. Perfect situation.
HA! Silly Ali.
There's no such thing as perfect.
So, I cried. And I couldn't sleep. Or eat.
And I love eating -
to the point where it could be a serious problem for me one day.
After reading that message, I didn't hear from him for 3 days.
I was broken. Crushed. Like the one sad puppy left in the window.
I started to feel like I was losing everything.
We had the same friends - they for sure like him more.
I enjoyed being around his family - they would totally choose him too.
I thought I would have nothing.
Then I realized I was being fucking ridiculous.
No one "wins" in heartbreak.
No one is "the chosen one"
- unless you cheat on someone, then you lose -
And you know what?
I was going to make it out alive.
On day 4 of depressing Ali,
I hung out with family all day.
My family and his family.
I talked. Expressed some feelings
because we know I keep it bottled inside for this blog…
And I realized something -
I'm lucky!
I'm lucky to have family that is close to me.
Lucky to have the most caring, genuine, kind-hearted friends.
High School friends may I add.
Who still has friends like that at 24 years old?!
And I'm lucky to still care about the boy who broke my heart.
Because if I hated him or was angry with him
I'd only be hurting myself and bringing negativity into my life.
He's single. He's in a foreign country with no family or friends.
I'd probably want to stumble upon a companion too.
We're young and neither of us want to get married right now.
Because being an adult is gross.
So, let's just live in the now.
Go on adventures. Meet new people. Enjoy what's around us.
We are lucky to be alive and have opportunities to seize.
Maybe we will try the whole relationship thing again
and maybe he will bring back a wife.
Whatever happens, I know that family, friends and even myself
will be there to figure shit out if it hits the fan.
Until then, I'm going to enjoy loving my life
and go on as many adventures as I can find/finance!
But first, I think it's time to get back into the online dating game…
but you told me to tell you if I met someone…and I did.
I met her last week. Just wanted to tell you to be honest."
There's nothing worse than telling someone you love
to go on an adventure to find themselves
but they end up finding someone else.
I didn't really know how to process this one.
We had been on and off for almost 7 years
and now he was 15 hours away for 8 months.
After about a month of the long distance thing,
we decided to take a break.
Yes, so we could ultimately pull the whole
"WE WERE ON A BREAK!"
argument.
Which no one ever wins…
We thought it would be beneficial to take some time for ourselves
to really figure out what we wanted in life,
I mean, we're only in our mid-twenties.
AKA the most awkward time period ever.
Besides the early 90's.
He would find his work calling in life.
I would find ways to better like myself.
He would decide if he saw marriage in his future.
And I would figure out if he was the one I would marry.
Perfect plan. Perfect timing. Perfect situation.
HA! Silly Ali.
There's no such thing as perfect.
So, I cried. And I couldn't sleep. Or eat.
And I love eating -
to the point where it could be a serious problem for me one day.
After reading that message, I didn't hear from him for 3 days.
I was broken. Crushed. Like the one sad puppy left in the window.
I started to feel like I was losing everything.
We had the same friends - they for sure like him more.
I enjoyed being around his family - they would totally choose him too.
I thought I would have nothing.
Then I realized I was being fucking ridiculous.
No one "wins" in heartbreak.
No one is "the chosen one"
- unless you cheat on someone, then you lose -
And you know what?
I was going to make it out alive.
On day 4 of depressing Ali,
I hung out with family all day.
My family and his family.
I talked. Expressed some feelings
because we know I keep it bottled inside for this blog…
And I realized something -
I'm lucky!
I'm lucky to have family that is close to me.
Lucky to have the most caring, genuine, kind-hearted friends.
High School friends may I add.
Who still has friends like that at 24 years old?!
And I'm lucky to still care about the boy who broke my heart.
Because if I hated him or was angry with him
I'd only be hurting myself and bringing negativity into my life.
He's single. He's in a foreign country with no family or friends.
I'd probably want to stumble upon a companion too.
We're young and neither of us want to get married right now.
Because being an adult is gross.
So, let's just live in the now.
Go on adventures. Meet new people. Enjoy what's around us.
We are lucky to be alive and have opportunities to seize.
Maybe we will try the whole relationship thing again
and maybe he will bring back a wife.
Whatever happens, I know that family, friends and even myself
will be there to figure shit out if it hits the fan.
Until then, I'm going to enjoy loving my life
and go on as many adventures as I can find/finance!
But first, I think it's time to get back into the online dating game…
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